Tagged: Steroids

Doll Parts: the Steroids Anthem

( we here at the BBHeckler stepped into our time machine and Remembered the Future….it’s the year 2012, the Hall of Fame debate is raging, and E Maj scores an exclusive interview w/Barry Bonds, Mark McGuire, Sammy Sosa, Rafael Palmiero and their wives…he only needed to ask one question…so, with apologies to Courtney Love of Hole, a BBHeckler exclusive)  http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000003TAY/qid=1143822288/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/104-6916101-2723167?s=music&v=glance&n=5174 –scroll down to listen to Courtney croon

Doll Parts

E Maj: "So guys, how y’all feeling these days?"

Raffy: I am….doll eyes

Mark:  Doll mouth, doll legs

Sammy: I am doll arms, big veins, dog bait

Players wives’: ([Refrain] Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, they really do

Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, but I do too

I want to be the girl with the most cake )

I love him so much it just turns to hate

Barry: I fake it so real, I am beyond fake

Raffy: And someday, you will ache like I ache

Sammy: Someday, you will ache like I ache

Mark: I am doll parts

Barry: Bad skin, doll heart

(in accepting the Scarlet S Award from E Maj)

(all the players):  It stands for knife

For the rest of my life


Players wives (talking about the faux records that were set):

He only loves those things because he loves to see them break

Sammy+Raffy (on their congressional testimony):

I fake it so real, I am beyond fake

(all of them, referring to all of their injuries, shame, and small testicles):

And someday, you will ache like I ache

Someday you will ache like I ache

Peace, E Maj



Fool Me Once, Fool Me Twice

(from a 3/8/04 Chicago Tribune article by Paul Sullivan, reporter)

Dusty, (on Bonds/Steroids,…Note: Dusty was Barry’s manager in S.F. from 1993-2002) I thought this was an interesting paragraph:

"Everybody saw the physical change," Baker said. "You didn’t know if Barry was lifting weights, because he lifts weights all the time. (there’s a free Dustyism, btw, enjoy)…..I’m not a detective.  What are you going to do as manager?"

Umm.  Actually Dusty all baseball managers are detectives.  They get paid big money to make big decisions on limited information w/constantly dynamic information.  The BBHeckler isn’t on a witch hunt, he’s on a truth hunt.  The consumer(in this case, the ticket holder/fan) has a right to demand integrity of the product he is buying. 

When Dusty was first hired the Cubs, I saw someone w/the ability to change the perception of the Cubs.  A man who was always considered a players’ manager(just what the Cubs needed), and whilst not a fundamental savant, he was ‘well-enough’ grounded in them to let his strengths over-compensate for them.   

Last year was a different story for Dusty/Cubs.  Pitchers not covering first.  Missed signs.  Couldn’t bunt/hit and run.  Botched pickles.  Excuses.  Paranoia. 

This was not the man who stood at the top of the dugout on a summer day in 2003, challenging one of the league’s finest, and most intimidating minds, Tony Larussa to "Come get Some."  Ultimately, this set the tone for a magical run that ended oh-too-early w/the ‘Bartman-game’ NLCS Series loss to Florida.

Baker is tied to Bonds, right or wrong, and whether he likes it or not.  His recent erratic behavior of the past 15 months, lends the BBHeckler to believe, at worst, Dusty knows a lot more about Balco/Steroids than he’s letting on, or at best, he’s found a lifetime supply of the paste I used to eat in 2nd grade.(In that case, give me a call Dusty). 

With no empirical data out there pre-2003(yet!), a lot of theories are going to be mere speculation.  That does not mean we are not allowed to speculate, and debate semantics. 

Marketing 101 says the customer is always right.  The fans/ticket holders are baseball’s customer.  Ever hear the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me."  Shame on the entire Steroids Era, and all who perpetuated it.  Come clean or go home. 

The burden of proof has shifted.

Peace, E Maj

email me at BBHeckler@yahoo.com